Dienstag, 14. Februar 2017

Love Songs for Valentine's Day 2017

Happy Valentine's Day!

(c) Tamen de Gushi

Nat king cole - L.O.V.E.
L is for the way you look at me. O is for the only one I see. V is very, very extraordinary. E is even more than anyone that you adore.

Gym Class Heroes - Cupid's chokehold
She's got eyes comparable to sunrise. And it doesn't stop there. Man, I swear [...]She's got the cutest laugh I ever heard. And we can be on the phone for three hours not sayin' one word. And I would still cherish every moment and when I start to build my future she's the main component. Call it dumb, call it luck, call it love or whatever...

Jason Reeves - Save my hearts
I want what I can't have. I wanna make you mine I don't care what it takes. I'm fearless with my heart, I'll take it any place, I don't care if it breaks. I wanna tell you things I never tell myself. These secrets hurt like hell.
NeedToBreathe - Something beautiful
Hey now, this is my desire. Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful to touch me, I know that I'm in reach 'cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
(c) Burdge Vaughn (burdge-bug)

Neon Trees - Everybody talks
It started with a whisper
And that was when I kissed her
And then she made my lips hurt
I could hear the chit chat
Take me to your love shack [...]
Hey honey you could be my drug
You could be my new prescription
Too much could be an overdose

The 1975 - The Sound
You're so conceited, I said "i love you". What does it matter if I lie to you?


Joshua Radin - The fear you won't fall:
And I miss you more than I should, but I thought I could, can't get my mind off of you. I know you're scared that soon I'll be over it. That's part of it all, part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall [...] And I hate the phone, but I wish you'd call...


Porcupine Tree - Trains:
“When I hear the engine pass
I'm kissing you wide
The hissing subsides
I'm in luck
When the evening reaches here
You're tying me up
I'm dying of love

It's OK”
(c) Sukitte ii nayo (Say I love you)

Sonntag, 2. Oktober 2016

If there was a wizarding school in Germany - A Fanfiction

Recently I've been browsing on Pottermore and I discovered that they added new wizarding schools.
Next to Hogwarts there is the American Wizarding School: Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry; then the Brazilian one, Castelobruxo, the African one, Uagadou and the Japanese one Mahoutokoro.



I was instantly intrigued: What are the traditions of these new schools? What new houses are there, if any? What makes them special?
"The number of countries that have their own magical school is minuscule compared to those that do not. This is because the wizarding populations of most countries choose the option of home schooling. [...] There are eleven long-established and prestigious wizarding schools worldwide, all of which are registered with the International Confederation of Wizards. Smaller and less well-regulated institutions have come and gone, are difficult to keep track of, and are rarely registered with the appropriate Ministry (in which case, I cannot vouch for the standard of education they might offer). Anyone wishing to know whether there is an approved magical school in their region should address an owl enquiry to the International Confederation of Wizards, Educational Office." - J.K. Rowling
And even though I was always happy with being a Gryffindor at Hogwarts, I suddenly I began to imagine what a German "Hogwarts" would look like. Who would have founded it and where it would be located? What are German magical traditions?
And before I knew it, I started writing a fanfiction about it: Read me (English)Read me (German/Deutsch).



If you're looking for something super crazy, you won't find that in the story, because I kept the story rather simple, but if you enjoy the world of Harry Potter with all its magial creatures as much as I do, maybe I can entertain you for a while.
I've taken a few of the already known creatures like Thestrals and Veelas and added new ones from German folklore like the Lindworm or Wolpertinger. I also intertwined local legends and well-known figures from history with my founding father-story.


Mittwoch, 21. September 2016

Free more than just the Nipple

I'm definitely not the most serious or strict of feminists. In my everyday life I don't feel constantly oppressed by men. And I sometimes even enjoy being treated "like a lady", even though feminists from all over the world might get angry at me now because I seem to support this archaic concept of gender roles. 


But in my defense: There are some moments when my inner feminist speaks to me.

Yesterday was such a moment: a friend told me in privacy that she felt "not pure anymore" because she had sex with different partners. I don't want to get in the full details of our conversation, because it is actually a very private matter and also irrelevant to the point I'm trying to make here, but can you actually believe this?

First of all, why does a woman have to be pure? What's so glorious about purity?  It's just an abstract concept!
And why is the most natural thing in the world - the reason the world was born in the first place - why is it considered impure, sinful or shameful? Without sex, you wouldn't even be reading this!
Why does sex or even just sexual desire make only woman feel impure?
Or why are woman considered immoral if they enjoy the pleasure of several different men?
And the most important question of them all: Why do we believe these voices that tell us we are impure when we're actually doing something so completely normal?


It is easy to start and blame the education or old moral codes ("imposed on us throughout generations of male oppression" blah blah). There is, of course, truth to the fact that we are influenced greatly by our environment and social norms, but we also have a free will.
We should maybe look inside ourselves to look for the answers. Because no matter how influenced we get, there is still a decision to be made inside ourselves: 
Do we want to believe the voices just to fit in? Or do we want to be accepted for who we really are?

We also blame a lot of the times the male population for judging women, but we forget that all people (male & female) judge eachother on a daily basis. There isn't a day that goes by without us voicing our opinion about the things we see, rolling our eyes at the things we hear or evaluating others and their behaviour in general.

But I think the worst thing of all is that most women aren't in touch with the female sexuality or with their own sexuality for that matter.
It starts with such simple things as getting to know the private parts: Guys see a lot of dicks throughout their lives (basically everytime they go to a public toilet, right next to them at the urinal). A heterosexual woman might not see another vagina than her own in all her life (if she has even taken a good look at her own vagina(!), because that is a whole other challenge...)
And it goes to censorship of the female nipples, the vagina as a whole and female sexuality. Very few people talk openly about female masturbation, and female stimuli. Furthermore, a lot of people don't really know how lesbian sex works (or they believe everything they see in porn...).

We don't need to behave like men (or "do it like a dude" as a famous singer would say) in order for equality to finally come, but we need to feel comfortable with who we are, find out what we like and don't be ashamed about it.

Desires, Fantasies and Masturbation etc.
All of it should be part of an open dialogue
we have with ourselves first and then with others
without feeling guilty, sinful or weird.

Embrace & own your sexuality!
A gallery about female sexuality (proceed at your own risk): Click memememe or me.



We shouldn't feel impure or ashamed of our sexual preferences or desires, sex is supposed to feel good. But we can only achieve this feeling when we feel at ease or confident about what we like. We need to let go of all the shame that haunts us. That's why I believe, we need to free more than just the Nipple. We need to free our mind.
We need to take the time to get to know our bodies. We shouldn't be afraid to get us off better than maybe a different person can. We should also allow ourselves to openly enjoy the pleasure others give us and allow us & others to have sex with whomever we choose without calling anyone a slut or a whore.

Dear Women, 
take a moment to lie down and enjoy yourselves!
(with & without a partner ;) ) 
Free yourselves! 

You deserve to feel satisfied!
And you are the purest when you are happy!


--
I'd also like to recommend to watch this episode of Crash Course Philosophy: Click me.

Sonntag, 4. September 2016

(B)Rainbow: Painted Wings

Graffiti seems to be the most honest art form,
because it can be compared to prehistoric cave paintings:
People always have liked to paint little pictures, skribble on walls or carve something into objects
 just to make sure to leave a trace. 

"I was here. But while I'm long gone, 
I leave something behind that you can remember me by."

(c) Nessita


My inspiration:


Donnerstag, 9. Juni 2016

Die mächtigste Frau der Welt und das Land der Dichter und Denker

Heute hörte ich im Radio, wie man darüber sprach, dass laut der "Forbes-Liste" weiterhin Frau Merkel die wohl mächtigste Frau der Welt ist. Aber anstatt zu gratulieren, erklärte der Radiosprecher:
"Ja, das wird sich wohl bald mit der Wahl von Hillary Clinton ändern!"
Ich traute meinen Ohren kaum. Was ist es bloß mit deutschen Medien, dass wir immer darauf hoffen von den USA übertrumpft zu werden?


Aber je mehr ich darüber nachdachte, desto wütender wurde ich.

Warum schauen wir überhaupt jedes Mal zu den USA, als wären sie das erwählte Volk?
> Weil Sie es selbst von sich behaupten?!
Warum ist ein Land, dessen Wahlkämpfe ein absolutes Kasperle-Theater sind, unser Vorbild?
> Weil Sie die Medien und das ganze Internet damit fluten?

Warum glauben wir dem "Amerikanischen Traum", der schon im eigenen Land niemals richtig funktioniert hat, eher als der guten harten, aber ehrlichen deutschen Arbeit?
> Weil in der heutigen Wirtschaft ein großes Ego und das Geld regieren?

Wo ist das Deutschland der Dichter und Denker hin?

Seit wann sind wir Amerikas kleine Schäfchen? Ich sage ja nicht, dass wir USA zu unseren Feinden erklären sollten, aber wir sollten dringend in Frage stellen, was uns von den Medien nur Häppchenweise verabreicht wird.

Ich meine, denkt doch nur an die Abhöraffäre des Handys der Kanzlerin:
Warum ist ein Land, das uns permanent ausspioniert, als wären wir die Kriminellen, sich nicht mal dafür entschuldigt, sondern sich sofort auf den Schlips getreten sieht, wenn man sie darauf hinweist, ein Verbündeter oder sogar unser Chef? Lächerlich.

oder zur Flüchtlingskrise:
Überall da, wo die USA einmarschiert sind, um "Frieden zu bringen" (oder eher gesagt, sich die Erdöl-Ressourcen unter den Nagel zu reißen), ist jetzt nur noch mehr Krieg und Zerstörung. Und genau dort, wo nur der Tod auf einen wartet, da flüchten die Menschen. Wir haben diese Zusammenhänge lange ignoriert. Aber es wird Zeit, die Augen zu öffnen.

Und was genau sind diese "westlichen Werte", die sie überall verbreiten wollen? Ist es diese rassistische "Weisheit", dass Afro-Amerikanische Menschen weniger wert sind als Weiße? Ist es die kapitalistische Weisheit, dass das Geld mehr wert ist als das Leben eines Menschen? Oder ist es gar die puritanische Weisheit, dass Sex ein absolutes Tabu ist, aber man die größte Porno-Industrie besitzt (bzw. dass alle Sex haben, aber keiner aufgeklärt ist)?

Ein Staat wie die USA mit so vielen eigenen Problemen, die es alle erst mal bewältigen muss, kann einfach kein Vorbild sein. Weder für uns noch für andere.

Es ist an der Zeit, dass wir das Vorbild für andere sind.
Und Flüchtlinge aufnehmen allein reicht da leider nicht. Wir müssen zeigen, dass das alles nur Menschen sind, dass jeder Mensch seine Daseins Berechtigung hat. Unsere Gier nach Wohlstand darf uns nicht blenden. Unsere Wirtschaft ist stabil. Selbst wenn jede Familie einen Flüchtling aufnehmen würde, würden wir nicht am Hungertuch nagen.



Jeder Deutsche sollte sich genau informieren. Die Zeitungen und Nachrichtensendungen schauen und nochmal genau über das nachdenken, wie uns manchmal die Medien manipulieren wollen.

Der erste Schritt ist es, die Augen zu öffnen. Danach kann man sie gar nicht mehr vor allem verschließen.

Donnerstag, 10. März 2016

(B)Rainbow: My Top 5 Art Goals

Whenever I tell people that I like to doodle, they immediately jump to the conclusion that I must be amazing at drawing or Art in general. They ask me if I could draw them or a dragon, Or them riding on a dragon... The list is endless.
Whatever the request it's almost always out of my usual drawing skill range...
But they ask me anyway (even if they've seen my artsy stuff) and expect me to just magically pull out a pen out of my bra and start their requested art piece.

Mostly at that point when their hopes are up and my confidence low... The situation ends mostly in one of two ways:
Either I try my best to draw them in my own style and they give me the "You don't really draw realistically"-speech followed by the "That manga style of yours is kinda childish, isn't it?"-speech or I have to break it to them that I can't fulfill their wishes...(yet). Followed by awkward silence. Then a slow, but disappointed okay... And we probably never talk about my art again.

So in order to clear up where I draw my inspiration from and what influences me in my art style, maybe I can give a little insight of what my goals are, so that someday I can fulfill some of their art requests or make them understand why my art is the way it is:



1. Hayao Miyazaki / Ghibli Studios:


Hayao Miyazaki and the Ghibli Studios make paradise come to life.I watched every single one of their movies and am always taking by surprise about the beautiful setting they give their film characters. Their landscapes are picturesque and breathtaking. I've rarely seen such love to detail like in these films/works of art. The establishing shots make the Ghibli Movies already worth watching. And so I chose them as my inspiration for backgrounds and scenery. So far I've mostly drawn Characters because it was much more fun to design them, but I always try to recreate some of Ghibli's work to practice how to get better at drawing landscapes, buildings, etc. Maybe I even learn some of their tricks by practicing more and someday I'll be painting idyllic and sceneries myself.



2. Oda Eiichirou :


Many people would probably criticize the style of Oda, because of the typical unrealistic body proportions of his characters like big eyes or extremely long legs. But in my opinion do the people fixate too much on these little flaws. I mean just take a second and look at the images. The composition of the art works is on point.What I especially like about Oda's works is the perspective. It doesn't matter if it's frog's or bird's perspective, far away or close up. Oda manages not only to work in all sorts of little details, but also highlights perfectly each character's personality.



3. Zhang "Benjamin" Bin:


This artist is a personal favourite of mine for a long time now. He uses colours in such an expressive way. Just by looking at his colour choice he already sets the mood, but the way contrast and colours work perfectly together... There is no other way, then to put it bluntly: Benjamin is a genius whom I can learn a lot from.


4. Kaori Yuki :


This Mangaka has kind of a gothic style which I find unexplicably refreshing. The dark mood, the dramatic scenes, the meaningful looks, forbidden desires of star-crossed lovers or characters with dark secrets or souls, a little bit of leather and chains... all within a single image. It's deeply exciting and yet melancholic. The perfect combination! Since my sketchbook is sometimes more like a diary to me than anything else I've ever written down, I guess it has to do with my own twisted mind that the art style of Kaori Yuki is so appealing to me... I do truely believe that one can only achieve true greatness in his ark works if the deepest thoughts and feelings are put into it. Maybe not directly revealing themselves, but still hidden messages in the images.



5. CLAMP:


First of CLAMP is a group of artists that's why sometimes their art style is changing quite a bit. But I always fall in love with it again. I especially like their concepts, the well-placed details, the dresses and clothing designs, etc. CLAMP's artwork is probably the most stunning because they have this diversity. They can change up style and story and still have a consistency in their work. Something that I can only hope to achieve, It isn't easy as an artist to always be innovative and unique and still stay true to one's style.


There are probably even more great artists out there from whom I could learn a whole lot. But as for now. These are my Art Goals. Maybe someday I'll be actually as good or nearly as good as them. Maybe even better. Who knows? Wish me Luck!


Donnerstag, 3. März 2016

20 things you can do without a lot of money to make the world a better place!



  1. Say thank you, sorry and please.
    Being polite is a fading art form. So is chivalry and honesty. Some times being thankful for what you take for granted isn't easy. Asking nicely for help isn't either. And saying you're sorry is the hardest challenge of them all. But there are these rules on etiquette and proper behaviour for a reason. Being nice to others makes not only them feel cherished and respected, but it also turns you into a respectable and lovable human being.

  2. Tab for a Cause
    This is the most amazing concept you'll find: you install this to your regular internet browser and every time you open a new tab, you get hearts. When you donate these virtual hearts, sponsors of Tab for a Cause will donate money to charity for you.

  3. Online Survey with donation option.
    Normally when you do an online survey, you get a few pennys for answering the questions. This time, instead of getting paid for it, you can donate that money to a good cause!

  4. Donate your hair.
    I know what you are thinking: "My precious hair?? Hell no."  But do you realise that people who go through cancer treatment could get a real hair whig made from your donation and feel a little less like a patient just because of you cutting your hair? And do you realise that your cut-off hair goes to good use instead of the trash can? And remember: your hair grows back again!
    I cut my hair not long ago and I really enjoyed changing it up for once.

  5. Shop for clothing at Stores like Humana.
    You need a new top or pants and you already like going to second-hand shops? Then go to shops like Humana where not only second-hand clothing gets sold, but also a part of their profit is always donated with every piece of clothing you buy.

  6. Don't ignore the people around you.
    Meaning: don't ignore the bus or the taxi driver, don't talk to people as if they were beneath you! Even if they are service people or working for you, treat them with respect. And if you can, give a nice tip. The waiter/waitress needs the few pennies probably more than you do.

  7. Food for the homeless.
    I'm always very conflicted about giving money to homeless people because I can't tell if it will be spend on drugs or actually help them... So around the last Christmas season I baked cookies and gave them out to the homeless instead of money. Not only were they happy for being treated nicely for a change, but they also had something to eat. Maybe this way they could save up the money, other people gave them.

  8. Donate blood.
    There are many people in need for a blood transfusion. But the blood reserves are not infinite and what if someday you might need a blood transfusion, too? So why not donate blood yourself and help the cause? In some cases you can even get money for it. I mean if that isn't a win-win-situation, I don't know what is. Click me!

  9. Fair Trade.
    There is no easier way to do a good deed than by buying fair trade goods. You don't even have to extra go to a fair trade shop, all you have to do is look out for the fair trade label when buying your normal groceries. I promise you, they're not much more expensive than regular items and yet you will feel better with every errant you ran.

  10. Helping others. Civil and moral courage.
    I know another rather basic step. But a step that people often forget. You see reportages where persons rather film a fight on their iPhones than intervene or call the police. Or when you see someone on the sidewalk crying and everyone just turns away or walk past that person because it's none of their business. Don't be that person. Make it your business for a change. Even if it is just a kid with broken bike because of a flat tire. Don't just walk past it. Please help. Don't fear to get your hands dirty for once.

  11. Donate your clothes.
    Everyone has old clothes they don't wear anyhow. Check your wardrobe for items you don't like to wear no more and instead of throwing them out, give them to charity. Really, that's it.


  12. Donate Household items
    Oh and while you're at it, why not also look for household items that have no use in your home any more that you can donate, too. Books, too.

  13. Donate Food.
    Check your food storage. Some non-perishable grocery items can be donated to a local food bank as well. In case you love animals I recommend donating animal food to your local animal shelter, too. My local supermarket even offers the possibility to buy a can of dog/cat food to every shopping spree you do and then just donate this can to animal shelter. One can at a time is not much, but it adds up.

  14. Help out at an animal shelter.
    Speaking of pet food... a good friend of mine goes every sunday to the local animal shelter and helps out. All she's got to do is walk the dogs or feed the animals. It is simple and great for animal lovers (or people who can't have animals at home, but always dreamed of owning a pet).

  15. Volunteer.
    I know, I know, not everyone has the time to volunteer. But consider this, if you just put a tiny bit of energy of your sparetime in voluntary work, you will not only be repaid with the feeling of satisfaction because you're doing something good, but also with the acknowledgement of others, because there is nothing people admire most than the things they can't imagine doing themselves. And of course you'll be confronted directly with the thankfulness of the people you actually help.
    In my case I work for free as a German teacher fo refugees and my students are all very grateful to be able to learn. So from my own experience I can say it is completely worth it even though it can be time consuming.

  16. Send a care package.
    Around Christmas Time I took part in a charity service called "Weihnachten im Schuhkarton" (which translates to "Christmas in a shoe box").  I packed a box with toys and gave the box to the charity service. They distributed these boxes to underpriviledged children whose parents can't afford to buy them actual Christmas presents.
    But there are many more events like these and not only around the Christmas season. You can prepare care packages for soldiers in war zones or schools in Africa and give them to the local participating post office.


  17. Clean up.
    Literally. You sometimes see trash lying around. Pick it up and throw it in the trash can. I know it is not your mess. I know you are not a cleaning lady/gentlemen, but this easy task can simplify the work of others. There are even cleaning events where a group of people get together and clean up a public place like a parque or something.
    In my case it was the University campus. A group of people (including me ) were handed trashbags (sponsored by the courtesy of the student union) and began cleaning up. The campus definitely looks better now!

  18. Seperate the Trash.
    That's it. Do it. You know it's good for the Environment. And it's fucking easy. If I need to explain the importance of recycling to you, then you really have been living behind the moon for a long while.

  19. Show that you care.
    Your friends and family are probably the most important people in your life and you should let them know that. The easiest way is by doing something for them or giving them something that would make them happy. A friend once told me: The best gift you can give me is attention. Wise words, wise words indeed. So why not prepare a dinner party or call them on the phone every once in a while or just do basically any activity with them. You'll be surprised what a positive effect this simple task has on both your and their daily routine. Making the world a better place starts best where you started out as well.


  20. Smile and Share!
    You know how a tiny drop falling into water can cause circles on the surface that get bigger and bigger. Change works the same way, it comes in tiny waves that get bigger until it's an actual movement. Now you will start the waves. You will be the droplet. Because sometimes a smile is all it takes to brighten someone's day. And sharing your experience with your friends and family might even motivate them to do some of these things. By sharing this post, you can not only brighten my day, but also spread the word! Share and give the World a virtual smile!

It always comes down to the little things...

Make them count! Be the droplet!


Sonntag, 14. Februar 2016

Songs for Valentine's Day 2016

Happy Valentine's Day!




If you need to be reminded that you shouldn't take your partner for granted
when life has become ordinary, but love sure hasn't, listen to this.

"The very though of you and I forget to do the little ordinary thingsthat everyone ought to do [...]And I'm happy as a king[...]You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you"
(Al Bowlly - The very though of you)


If you feel like Love is too complicated, listen to this.
"You're lost even
when you're going the right way
You mean the world to me
even though you might be crazy[...]
It's funny you said we'd never make it
and look how far we've come"
  
(Demi Lovato - Trainwreck)

If your heart needs some time to heal before moving on, listen to this.

"Now I need someone to breathe me back to life
Got a feeling that I'm going under
But I know that I'll make it out alive
If I quit calling you my lover
Move on[...] Tripping over myselfAching, begging you to come help"
(Shawn Mendes - Stitches)


If you go out into the world, looking for Love, listen to this.
"Collecting strange perfections
in any stranger I choose."
 
(Hozier - Someone New)

If you're tired of Love Triangles, listen to this:

"I'm tired of this triangle
Got dizzy dancing tango
I'm falling apart in your hands again
No way - I've got to get away"
(Shakira - Objection)


If you feel like you've met your soulmate, listen to this.
"I feel the wind move; we breathe the same air
You're like the best news that I can't share
A stranger's eyes that somehow look familiar
I know that when it's you, I'll remember!"
(Audien ft. Lady Antebellum - Something better)



If there is no one more magnetic than the person next to you, listen to this:
"Gotta picture in your wallet
Makin' me a habit [...]
Brushin' my hair back
Feelin' ya lips on my cold neck[...]
You do it to me so well
Hypnotic takin' over me
Make me feel like someone else
You got me talkin' in my sleep" 
(Zella Day ft, Vanic - Hypnotic)


If Love is the one thing that completely messes with your head, listen to this.
"Fell in love once and almost completely[...]but sometimes these feelings can be so misleading.She turns and says are you alright? I said I must be fine cause my heart's still beating"
(The White Stripes - Fell in Love with a Girl)



(c) Nessi

----
(c) Movie Scene from Romeo + Juliet 1996
(c) Blue Spring Ride - Io Sakisaka

Sonntag, 31. Januar 2016

Of Tears and other Feelings


"Crying - What else are lacrimal glands for?"

Kate Flâneur


(c) Kaori Yuki

Well I can think of a few things:

  1. First of all for doctors, I mean they always need something to analyze.
  2. If we want to be clowns and don't have a flower that can squirt water. 


No, but seriously. The big deal about tears is not that people cry.


Everybody poops cries.
At some point or another in their lives.
I think we've established that.

But it's the way we make other people feel, when we cry... 

There is a certain weakness about crying that makes it almost frightening to watch.

We confront them with a personal side of us that is the Pandora's Box of feelings which according to them should only be opened, if absolutely necessary. Possibly Never.

Most people don't know how to react or comfort our tears.
And all we do, is put our feelings at their mercy and yet, we are helpless ourselves to make the tears stop.
(c) CLAMP

They're uncomfortable because we put them in a position they can't just walk away from.
It's that sudden responsibility we put on them. 

Tears have a whole lot of emotional baggage inside of them. Stress. Heartbreak. Losses. Or just plain emotional discomfort.
It's the people which call others "crybabies" that feel the least in touch with their own emotions in general. So how are they supposed to help us when they can't even handle their own feelings?
And who are we to expect them to do so in the first place?
(c) Benjamin
That's the actual reason why crying in public is discouraged.






Freitag, 29. Januar 2016

Put [Blank] in the Title - Just for the Laughs


Just for the Laughs. I don't mean to offend anyone.

(Just Random Study Break)


#PutBlankInTheTitle

Don't try this at home, kids.




[Vagina]


Get Vagina or die trying!

Somebody told me
you had a girlfriend
who looked like Vagina
That I had in Febuary of last year


[Penis]

I got 99 body parts,
but a penis ain't one.

I got my penis for the long way round
The one with the prettiest of pubes
It's a sight that makes you shiver.
and I'm sure it will deliver
So I really need to get it inside you!
When I cum, when I cum...



[Tumor]

I'm a Tumor Girl
in a Tumor World
Life in Chemo
It's so Emo.
You can't brush my hair
I lose it everywhere.


99 Karzinome

auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont

Don't stop me now
Cause I'm having a Tumor!

Isn't it a Tumor, don't you think?
A little Tuuumor?



[Farts]

And all the girls say:
Pretty Shart for a White Guy!

And I think to myself:
what a wonderful Fart!

And I smelled his farts
now I'm a believer
not a trace of doubt in my nose!
I'm in shoooock...

Sonntag, 7. Juni 2015

Best Drinking Games (for a Wine Tasting)


Last night I was invited to join some friends to a really fancy wine tasting. At first I was really hesitating, because I'm absolutely not the wine person. I can't tell a Dornfelder from a Riesling. I can't taste the difference between an expensive vintage wine and a cheap bottle from the gas station. For me wine is something that gets you drunk. As long it does the trick, I'm good to go. So you can imagine my panic when I was suddenly confronted with a whole selection of wines. 
But then I thought: I'm living in the South of Germany (one of the main wine producing areas in Germany) way too long to not have experienced this at least once in my life.
So I joined in, sat down. At a table with some already experienced wine connoisseurs. Two wine glasses in front of me. They knew instantly that I had no clue what I was doing. The first thing they taught me was that the one glass has to face down, so the waitor knows which glass to fill.

"So, this is... well... a wine, right?"
"The aroma is so very... you know... fruity...?
I mean wine is made from grapes...
So that's what it should taste like, right?"
Just shut up and drink, maybe nobody heard you.
They're still looking at you.
Just drink some more.
"I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting closer to taking my clothes off."

The conclusion is always the same:


Wine after wine followed. Red wine, Rosé, White wine. I could already tell that only after a few glasses I was getting tipsy.

But so was everyone else. 

That's when my drunk brain decided it was time to start drinking games. A few of the rather stuck up people were appalled by the idea, but actually these games made this experience so much better! And after a while everyone was having fun! Even the ones with the stick up the ass.


So now, here come a few of the Best Drinking Games where you can really get to know people I could come up with:

  1.  Never Have I Ever.

    What you need: Your Brain and an always full drink.
    I know what you might be thinking: What a boring standard game. But it is one of the classic games for a reason! For the ones who don't know how it's played: A player says something he has never done before and all the other player reply to this by taking a sip from their drink if they have already done it. A player can also choose to say something he has already done just to see if the others have already done it, but then he has to drink as well. 

     
  2.  5 Things.

    What you need: Your Brain.
    You select a player to name you 5 or any random number of things that interest you. For example: Tell me 5 Things that you are afraid of. Or Name 7 Things you would kill for. Tell me 6 Pick up lines.The options are endless. And whatever the category, if the player can't come up with an answer fast enough he has to drink (a shot?). The one that successfully completed the task continues with asking another player. (For players who are new to this game, I recommend to start with only 5 things, so that it doesn't seem impossible and give them a little time to think. It will get easier with time and you want to know the answers, so waiting is probably worth it.)
     

  3. Fuck, Marry, Kill.

    What you need: Your Brain.
    Give another player an option of three [persons, celebrities, things, animals] whatever. And let them decide which one of the three they would fuck, marry and kill. The player cannot choose to marry, fuck or kill two or all of these things. Everything must only named once. So between Beyoncé, the Devil and a chair, I'd choose to marry the Devil, fuck Beyoncé and kill the Chair. You get the idea. Get creative. The weirder the options, the funnier the outcome.

  4. Scale 1-10.

    What you need: A sheet of paper, pens and again your Brain.
    You rip the sheet of paper into many little pieces and all players write down all kinds of adjectives or characteristics on each one of these little pieces. Then you fold them and put them in a cup. A player begins by drawing from the cup and saying the adjective out loud. Then he/she proceeds by thinking of a number between 1 to 10 (10 being the highest) how well this characteristic or adjective describes him/her, but doesn't say the number out loud. The other players will guess what the other player has rated him-/herself. [Another way to play this game is that everyone says what they think the person is like...].

  5. Most likely to.

    What you need: A sheet of paper, pens, your Brain.
    It  follows basically the same rules as "Scale 1-10", but now you don't write adjectives on the pieces of paper, but questions who's most like to do something. For example Most likely to rob a bank? Most likely to have the most kids? Most likely to fart in an elevator and blame it on the dog? Just like in "Scale 1-10" a player draws from the cup, but this time the question is placed openly and the players try to evaluate who's most likely to do all these things. Let the discussion begin!



  6. Draw the Phrase.

    What you need:  a few sheets of paper, pens, your hidden artistic talent
    Someone writes on top of the paper a really weird (story telling) sentence and the next person has to draw what the sentence says. Then the sentence gets folded over and the next person has to draw what they think happens in the picture (but only in one sentence again). And so on, until the final product reaches the one that started it. The result is always hilarious!

  7. Best shitting story.

    What you need: Your embarrassing and probably partially repressed memories, more wine to forget the shame and best played with people who can laugh about themselves.
    Someone says a certain shame-category, for example "worst case of bowel accidents" or "most horrible attempt to flirt" and the all of the players have to tell the story, BUT here's the catch: They can only tell this horrible memory in 3 short phrases or three words and there will be no follow-up questions. This game will make you grow so much closer. Believe me. [Total ice breaker: The Diarrhea Story: Everyone has been there. Wow this could be my new slogan...]

     Have a lovely drinking night and remember:

     drink because you're happy, not because you're sad!